Why is it so hard for an Indian guy to date abroad?
Starting with a Culture Clash
Let me start by addressing the elephant in the room - that being an Indian bloke trying to find a date outside of India is like trying to solve a Rubik's cube blindfolded. It seems almost impossible, like trying to convince my Golden Retriever, Shadow, that he's not a lap dog. So, what are the issues here? The complexity of this situation arises from cultural differences, stereotypes, and sometimes overrated Bollywood influence.
Let's talk about culture. We Indians are deeply ingrained with our customs, traditions, and values. You would think this should be an attractive trait. After all, it's fascinating to learn about different ways of life. However, here's where the clash occurs. We are inclined towards close family structures, love to celebrate every festival (and mind you, we have plenty), and our communication style may be seen as too intense or invading personal space. This cultural immersion can become a bit overwhelming to someone who is not used to such a level of intensity. Just imagine trying to explain to someone why we have a festival dedicated to kites or why we burst fireworks on Diwali.
The Stereotype Showdown
Next comes the overpowering enemy - stereotypes. Heavier than my Siamese Cat, Mowgli, after a hefty dinner. Now, you must understand, I don't dismiss the fact that every country, every race, has its stereotyping issues. I mean, we Indians do it too. But, when you are an Indian bloke trying to date abroad, you feel like you're constantly trying to break through these preconceived notions. Just picture this: You're at a date, and instead of discussing shared interests, you're trying to prove that not all Indians work in call centers, practice yoga, or become world-class cricket players.
It's not just about proving - it's about dealing with the constant noise of these stereotypes around you. It's about pitching yourself against these assumptions and proving you're more than just the color of your skin or the country you come from. It's like on some days, you're not just dating, you're taking a stand - fighting against the image who 'people think you are' to show who 'you truly are.'
The Bollywood Extravaganza
Now, let's move on to the world of Bollywood - the overly dramatic, glamour-filled, song and dance extravaganza that assigns us extravagant character traits that most of us ordinary folks can't hope to possess. Bollywood has, unintentionally, painted a larger-than-life portrayal of Indians around the globe. Don't get me wrong, Bollywood itself is famous and adored worldwide. But when your date expects you to break into a choreographed dance number in the middle of a quiet dinner, it's pretty clear someone's been watching too much "Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge" or "Slumdog Millionaire".
Truth be told, Bollywood somehow became the ambassador of defining what an Indian is supposed to be like. As a result, it has left a number of us sticking to the shadows trying to convince others that our life is not a daily singing and dancing gala, and we don’t all have hidden melodious voices or smooth moonwalk moves. It feels like a puzzle - one where the picture we try to show and the picture expected from us are two different things.
Finding The Balance
So, then, how does one succeed in the dating world without losing our Indian essence? My story might offer a glimmer of hope. As an Indian guy who was trying to start a relationship outside of his culture, I encountered challenges. My wife Eliza had to get used to the festivals, the food, and my daily Bollywood dance-offs (just kidding about the last part). But how did this all work out? It was about finding a balance, respect, and understanding.
We saw each other as individuals first, not as representatives of our respective cultures. We worked on our relationship, acknowledging and learning about our cultural differences, knowing that this wouldn’t change overnight. It was a process to deal with the stereotypes, cultural gaps, and all that jazz about Bollywood. But we didn't let that overshadow the fact that we appreciated each other for our personalities, our thoughts, and our shared connection. I introduced Eliza to spicy Indian delicacies and colourful festivals. In return, she introduced me to another world outside of my Indian outlook. We opened each other's eyes to a different world while respecting and maintaining our individual cultures, and she never once asked me to dance in the rain like Shah Rukh Khan. We found balance, and that has made all the difference.
In conclusion, is it difficult for an Indian guy to date abroad? Maybe. Is it impossible? Absolutely not. The secret lies in being true to who you are, opening up to new experiences, embracing differences, and above all, daring to step outside of your comfort zone with the hope that you may find something - or someone - truly special.